To celebrate chinstrap month, here are some of the great and good who have proudly sport one.
As Shakespeare wrote, “All the world’s a chinstrap”.
Here is heir to the throne Prince Charles complete with the Sausage of the Glen
Here Is The Pope!
And here is Steve McQueen!
Posted in Canada, Funny, Humor, Humour, News, Politics, Satire, UK | Tagged Blogs, Canada, Chinstraps, Coping with relationship breakdowns, Film, Humor, Humour, Italy, Movies, News, Pope Francis, Prince Charles, Rome, Satire, Shakespeare, Steve McQueen, Surviving Depression, The British Monarchy, The Catholic Church, The Great Escape, The Pope, The Royal Family, Vatican | 13 Comments »
A huge minestrone soup well has been discovered in Utah, USA with enough reserves to give every human being a bowl of broth EVERYDAY for 245 YEARS!
The well was discovered by legendary oilman Tex McToughuts. When his big bit struck the pocket in the sub-strata which boffins assumed contained oil, a huge plume of minestrone jetted 2,500 feet in the air and was visible from space. For a bit.
Diced carrot and bits of celery landed as far afield as Senegal!
McToughnuts, a man so hard that he cheered when Bambi’s Mum was shot (citing the right to bear arms) was dumbfounded by the discovery.
“Ah don’t even like minestrone soup!” he told Gfb, “Ah always like Cream o’Chicken afore I go a lynchin’.”
However with the price of Oil plummeting McToughnuts is set to make millions. Soup expert Dorothy Broth-Breath told Gfb, “A barrel of West Texas soup is currently fetching $ 125. Don’t slurp!”
Readers may recall the recent opening of a broccoli mine in Western Australia. Is there a link?
Posted in Africa, Canada, Food, Funny, Humor, Humour, News, Random Thoughts, Satire | Tagged Austrlai, Broccoli, Broth, Brothing, Canada, Food, Fracking, Fracking Controversy, Humor, Humour, Minestrone Soup, News, Satire, Senegal, Shale Gas, Soup, Texas, UK, USA, Utah | 25 Comments »
We hope you remain as amazed as we at the previous lives of Agnes DuPont!
It is great to be here to share with you my previous lives.
Last week I was a Sperm whale for a few hours.
I know this because I am still very partial to plankton and shed a tear at the end of Free Willy 2.
I even swallowed a man in Asda! (I was looking for dental floss. The plankton gets stuck between the teeth you see.)
He is quite comfy. So don’t worry.
You may think I am a fantasist who eats cheese late at night……….I would beg to differ.
Call me Ishmael
Posted in Africa, Animals, Canada, Funny, Humor, Humour, News, Satire, Show Business, UK | Tagged Blogs, Canada, Cheese, Comedy, Faith, Fantasy, Funny, How to become rich, Humor, Moby Dick, Overcoming Depression, Random, Reincarnation, Short Stories, Stories, UK, USA, Whales, Writing | 10 Comments »
We love the life of a Jolly Jack Tar. Nothing better than a day unfurling a spanker or two and gazing up into the mizzen mast and worrying about the Doldrums.
Whilst up aft for’d we pass the time by singing a shanty.
Here are a few we croon;
• Me Auld Girl’s Blowhole
• Johnny’s Tinkler Is Inflamed
• After 3 Years At Sea Duncan Is Now Dorothy
• I’ve Been Bent Over A Barrel or 2
• Tug Me Rope
• When I Rub Me Barnacles I’m Thinking Of Me Jessie
• Blow Me Back To Blighty On A Good Stiff ‘Un
• Lord Nelson Swung Both Ways
Anyway the west wind blows fare – so adieu me hearties – sing along to this classic!
Posted in Funny, History, Humor, Humour, Music, Scotland, UK | Tagged Adult Humor, England, Folk Music, Funny, Humor, Humour, Jolly Jack Tar, Music, Nature, Oceans, Sailing, Satire, Sea Shantys', Songs, The Sea, USA, Whales, Whaling | 19 Comments »
As Shakespeare wrote, “Tis, Twas, Aforesaid herewith are we not yet more than but could we be? Advance yonder light and rest upon my girded goatee.” Couldn’t have put it better myself.
Here are some new sports to look out for in 2015!
1. Rolf – Use clubs to smack a hefty, big boned Viking around a muddy field for a bit (Imagine Game of Thrones meets Crazy Golf.)
2. Incessance – A woman in her 60’s sits next to you on a bus and talks utter shite until your ears bleed and your stools turn black with impotent rage. A sport that combines endurance, pointlessness and constipation in equal measure.
3. Nonogenarian Bollock Drop and Roll Ball – You will be aghast at the stretchy sack elderly gentlemen possess.
4. Bacon Pocket – Throw a slice of bacon into a team mate’s pocket from 100 feet. The Javelin meets Lacrosse using cured meats. The Spanish variant is known as Chip my Chorizo (“Chippo meo Chorizo” in the native tongue.)
5. Udder Pool – Arrange your prize milker over the green baize and use the powerful milk stream to pot the balls! Also known as Bull Pull but this version is for the strong of wrist and fleet of foot!!
Come On Kate!
Posted in Football, Funny, Humor, Humour, News, Politics, Soccer, The World Cup | Tagged Blogs, Charlie, David Beckham, Ed Miliband, England, Games, Humor, Humour, Milking Cows, Politics, Pool, Princess Kate, Random, Satire, Scotland, Shakespeare, Sports, UK News, USA | 13 Comments »
My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.
I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.
Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.
The Last Supper – Da Vinci’s masterpiece. The last supper I had was a cheese sandwich and a slice of pork pie. Very tasty it was although the pork pie repeated on me for a while and the cheese gave me nightmares.
Exodus – Batman takes the Jews on a long walk. Goes on a bit.
Little Women – Louisa May Alcott’s book about midget females. Lacks lesbian love lust. Goes on a bit.
My Fair Lady – From “Cor Blimey Guv’nor!” to “High Nigh Brine Cow” in 3 hours! Lovely frocks too!
5. Zumba Club
Tomorrow’s Zumba Club will now take place in the Frozen Foods aisle in Spar and not as previously advertised in the World Foods aisle. Someone dropped a bottle of Soya Sauce and Sally won’t get round to clearing it up until tomorrow.
Posted in Funny, Humor, Humour, Movies, Music, Random Thoughts, Satire | Tagged Arts, Batman, Cheltenham, Christina Bale, Comedy, Crafts, England, Exodus, Funny, Humor, Leonardo Da Vinci, Literature, Little women, Movies, My Fair Lady, Painting, Pottery, Reviews, Ridley Scott, soya Sauce, The Last Supper, USA, Zumba | 18 Comments »
Can you help? I am doing a crossword and I am stuck on 6 across.
The clue is “Things we chew our food with located in our mouths.” It has 5 letters and so far I have TE_TH – I am stumped. Any ideas?
Slow Dave, Hull
The word I’m thinking of is tongue. It may not fit the crossword but I find it can fit just about anywhere else. Once you discover this fact for yourself your crossword will be totally redundant. Enjoy.
Posted in Beauty Tips, Food, Funny, Humor, Humour, Satire, Show Business | Tagged Canada, Crosswords, England, Funny, Humor, Humour, Idiocy, Overcoming Adversity, Relationship Breakups, Self Help, Surviving Depression, Teeth, USA | 9 Comments »
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