Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Art, Family, Graffiti, Humor, News, Politics, Satire, UK, Unemployment, Youth on March 12, 2012 |
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Graffiti King To Get Youth Doing Something Useful!
Gfb understands the Coalition Government are ready to name respected graffiti artist Banksy as its new back-to-work Tsar.
The Government move to appoint Banksy is certain to cause more controversy in what is seen as a pivotal role in the battle against worklessness.
Ian Duncan-Spliff, Minister for Work and Pensions and a long-term fan of Street Art, sees Banksy’s appointment as an important way of restoring The Conservative Party’s credibility amongst people they call, young. “Respeck Due Ma Man!” Duncan Spliff is rumoured to have said to Banksy at their first meeting.
IDS – The Rasta Pastor
There are over 1 million unemployed young people or ‘NUUTS’ – Nonchalant, Unenergetic, Uneducated and Twatted.
A Government source revealed, “Spliff thinks he’s onto a real winner here. Stencils are the way forward as far as the Government are concerned. Getting Banksy on board is the Tory equivalent of Noel Gallagher partying at Number 10 with Blair!”
Banksy himself is said to have major plans for getting intergenerational workless families back into employment, including the creation of ‘job bastards’ who will stencil the phrase ‘get back to work for fuck’s sake’ on the front door of long term Jobseekers Allowance claimants every Monday morning until they are in sustainable employment.
Banksy’s Earliest Brush With Fame
Banksy has come under criticism after winning several contracts to supply Government offices with stencilled murals. The Ministry of Defence have commissioned a Banksy mural of a monkey holding a Sex Toy with the words ‘HAVE IT’ emblazoned underneath.. ‘Yes, it’s a controversial piece of art, but it’s great for morale,’ said one high wanking MOD source.
David Cameron is thrilled at Banksy’s appointment. A source told Gfb, “The PM thinks Banksy’s the man. Anyone that can sell a picture of a kid holding a Tesco’s carrier bag for more than a million quid is doing alright in his opinion.”
PM Cameron is delighted
In a statement, Banksy stencilled a picture of a sausage roll on a doorway in Brixton adorned with the phrase “Sausages have feelings too.’
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Posted in Uncategorized, tagged God, Humor, Lesbian, News, Politics, Sarah Palin, The Queen, UK, United States on February 10, 2012 |
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The Queen of Hingeland?
Tanktop McBain, Gfb’s lead reporter has learned today that Moma Grizzly, Sarah Palin’s romance with The Pope is over. For more info follow this link – http://gingerfightback.com/2011/12/09/sarah-palins-lovelife/
The doyen of the Pea Tarty, who recently sought to ban Whales because they were big, is being consoled by her lawn mower after the goose stepping Pontiff ditched her for what he laughably described as “God”.
Palin was devastated to finally understand that celibacy was not a delicately cook white fish and was in fact a well-known person with a lisp.
Pope Pius 23rd
“I sure is devastated, but heck y’know life goes on!” Sarah told a close pal whilst teaching her kids, Cre, Ati, On, Ism about the inherent evil that earthworms pose to mankind.
Liz’s Lezzer Lust!
Rumours ripen by the second however that Sarah is now in the arms of a new lover, The Queen of England. She and Lesbo Liz have been seen strolling around Anchorage hand in hand, giggling like school kids and looking dreamily into each other eyes.
“Shucks!” cried Palin, “I admit it. That Liz is one hot bit of ass! You’ll never have a frown once you’ve tried some Windsor Crown!”
She's A Malteser
What first attracted the two lovers? Honeycombed chocolate balls it would appear to us!
However, Buckingham Palace remains tight lipped about the rumours.
"Nature's Played A Cruel Trick On Her"
“Bollocks,” the Keeper of The Royal Satsuma told Gfb, “Her Royal Sinus is not havin’ it large with Ms Palin. Now clear off – I want to watch the repeat of CSI – mind you it is not the same since Grissom left is it?”
So it must be true then.
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Posted in ginger, humor, nonsense, travel, tagged Appearance, Beauty Products, Fashion, Humor, Random, Shoes, Skincare, Trains, Travel, UK on January 24, 2012 |
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It is always nice to see a man who takes pride in his appearance. My fellow passenger handled the worn Pumice stone with delicacy and no little dexterity. The exfoliation of his feet began on the outskirts of Swindon.
Rubbed Nirvana was achieved as we rolled into Reading.
He admired his handiwork as far as Slough and then refitted the black knee length socks which had been so carefully removed twenty five minutes earlier. The socks clamped with elastic elation around his hairy calves.
His shoes needed a polish. But I didn’t feel in a position to tell him.
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Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Beards, Horses, Humor, Kate Middleton, Prince William, Royal Family, Stupid, UK, Universe on November 5, 2011 |
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It was only a few months ago that Kate tied the knot with Wills. But more details of Kate’s wonderfulnessnessness are emerging.
She recently invented the one prong pitch fork and as the picture below reveals, Kate has undertaken some rather nifty genetic engineering to improve the performance of Sea Horses.
Tiggy Frumpington-Bumlick, keeper of the Royal Ruler commented, “It just shows what a great gal Kate is, although Princess Anne is none too pleased.”
Kate's Redesigned Sea Horse
“Naff Orff!” Anne said to Gfb’s correspondent. But as our hardest working Royal we will let her off this time. Why only yesterday she talked to people who stood in line to meet her.
Such has been Kate’s impact on the animal kingdom that a colony of fruit bats in Mexico have become diurnal just to improve their chance of catching a glimpse of her sometime in the future.
Kate’s sister, Piggyinthe Middleton has set up a TV company, Kate Is Great Productions. Three documentaries about Kate are currently in production. “Wills I Love You Even Though You Are Prematurely Bald” and “Kate – The Heroin Years” have already in the can. The third film “Kate – How the Universe Was Created” is in pre-production.
It is this film which is causing a stir amongst egg-heads, with Kate controversially postulating her theory that the Universe was created during the development of household cleaning products in a galaxy far far away.
This Cillit Bang Theory has been labelled extraordinary by Prof Eric Tanline.
She also claims to know what lies beyond the Universe and has ingeniously labelled it “Stuff”.
Can’t wait for her to be Queenie.
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