Posts Tagged ‘Sausages’
The Lord Of The Sausage Trilogy
1. The Fellowship Of The Sausage
2. The Two Sausages
3. Return Of The Sausage
The Harry Potter “Sausage” Collection
- Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Sausage
- Harry Potter and the Sausage of Secrets
- Harry Potter and the Sausage of Azkaban
- Harry Potter and the Sausage of Fire
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Sausage
- Harry Potter and the Half Blood Sausage
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Sausage 1 & 2
Behold! The legendary Crowned Scientologist Sausage Of Power – rarely seen and never tasted…….by mankind!
To strike fear into the hearts of the capitalist lackey dog slaves of imperial Yankdom,, the Democratic People’s Republic Of Korea intends to launch its deadly Banger Missile to strike at the heart of the viper gangsters of capitalist lackeys who should all be stuffed in a furnace to teach them a lesson.
The Banger has range of 5 feet and goes lovely with chips.
We caused a stir yesterday amongst The Bond Sausage Cognoscenti by failing to list THEIR favourite Bond Sausage movies. We felt it appropriate to reveal the complete ranking prepared by the Bond Sausage Committee at its recent convention in Vienna.
Daniel Craig’s lawyers informed us that sausages on his head are not appropriate and asked we remove the offending image. We have done so but felt obliged to leave a sausage about his person to keep wifey, the fragrant Rach company. Can you spot it?
The Bond Sausage Committee ranked the movies in the following order;
1. Dr Sausage
2. Gold Sausage
3. From Russia With Sausage
4. On Her Majesty’s Secret Sausage
5. Live And Let Sausage
6. The Sausage Who Loved Me
7. A View To A Sausage
8. The Sausage Is Not Enough
9. Sausage Royale
10. The Quantum Of Sausage
13. You Only Sausage Twice
14. Sausages Are Forever
15. Licence To Sausage
16. The Living Sausage
17. Die Another Sausage
19. Golden Sausage
20. Sausage Never Dies
21. The Man With The Golden Sausage
23. For Your Sausage Only
Whilst this offers a number of opportunities for Double Entendres we will refrain from that (although the mighty blogger Joe Hoover’s suggestion of Sausagepussy did have us giggling. We don’t know why - raised Catholic and not allowed to eat sausages (or play the trumpet) after the age of 13 due to the phallic connotations associated with the good old banger may have something to do with it.
Again we use the picture of Adele singing with a Sausage in Hand and on Head - altogether now - ”Isha Sshkyfoallll, when you tumballllllll, hic”.
We Hope This Answers All Your Questions
James Bond Will Return…………
She did us proud!
Ginger Sooty, GLOVE PUPPET OF DREAMS provides a daily round-up of events at the London 2012 Olympics that are, quite simply London 2012.
Well Folks - What A Day!
Nadzeya Ostapchuk won gold in the Women’s shot putt. Her hairstyle reminded me of Gordon Strachan circa 1988.
Australian Tom Slingsby won a gold in the Laser class sailing. They will soon catch up with New Zealand! (Not that we are gloating after decades of drubbings from them – oh yes we are!)
These two seem to be enjoying themselves in the Greco-Roman wrestling!
A couple of sports to look out for.
1. Cistercian Dispersion - Dates back to 645 AD, when monks on Holy Island, busy being ascetic and wondering what to do about the sweat rash from their woollen robes are captured by Vikings.
One Norseman has the bright idea of seeing how far he can fling their separated heads. The best monk chucker was then entered into the Dark Ages favourite quiz show Supermarket Pillage.
The sport has received something of a revival in the last ten years. Although they don’t throw monks heads anymore! Instead a medicine ball with a wig glued onto it. But don’t worry the wig has a bald spot for a bit of authenticity.
Norway’s Jan-Dahl Tossderhead is favourite for gold although expect a challenge from the mighty Algerian Youssouf Al-Syrup.
2. Sausage Pocket
Marjorie Masticationio from Sicily can catch in the pocket of her slacks a flung sausage from a distance of 47 Metres!
A sport for all the family this one and with a tasty meaty snack never far away!
Marjorie hopes to land gold. She has already medalled in the Synchronised Bacon Waving with her partner Gina Pollo.
Team GB’s Penny Whistle will be her main rival although her use of a chipolata is sure to be a bone of contention.
Enjoy The Games!
We’ve just received this traffic update!
A348 Dorset – Very slow traffic on A348 Ringwood Road outbound in West Howe, Bournemouth from Mountbatten Roundabout to West Howe Roundabout.
Sadly this has meant that we cannot attend the lecture on “Napkins Down The Years,” by Professor Ralph Monkey, Professor Emeritus of Folding, University of Basingstoke.
Instead we will be nipping over to Swindon Retail Park to take advantage of the incredible savings on Pork and Venison sausages at World Of Sausage!