Hello! Gfb is grabbing some me time for the next week or so. Hooray! we hear you cry – sadly we don’t disappear that easily – here are some posts which proved popular. Hope you like them second time around.
Graffiti King To Get Youth Doing Something Useful!
Gfb understands the Coalition Government are ready to name respected graffiti artist Banksy as its new back-to-work Tsar.
The Government move to appoint Banksy is certain to cause more controversy in what is seen as a pivotal role in the battle against worklessness.
Ian Duncan-Spliff, Minister for Work and Pensions and a long-term fan of Street Art, sees Banksy’s appointment as an important way of restoring The Conservative Party’s credibility amongst people they call, young. “Respeck Due Ma Man!” Duncan Spliff is rumoured to have said to Banksy at their first meeting.
IDS – The Rasta Pastor
There are over 1 million unemployed young people or ‘NUUTS’ – Nonchalant, Unenergetic, Uneducated and Twatted.
A Government source revealed, “Spliff thinks he’s onto a real winner here. Stencils are the way forward as far as the Government are concerned. Getting Banksy on board is the Tory equivalent of Noel Gallagher partying at Number 10 with Blair!”
Banksy himself is said to have major plans for getting intergenerational workless families back into employment, including the creation of ‘job bastards’ who will stencil the phrase ‘get back to work for fuck’s sake’ on the front door of long term Jobseekers Allowance claimants every Monday morning until they are in sustainable employment.
Banksy has come under criticism after winning several contracts to supply Government offices with stencilled murals. The Ministry of Defence have commissioned a Banksy mural of a monkey holding a Sex Toy with the words ‘HAVE IT’ emblazoned underneath.. ‘Yes, it’s a controversial piece of art, but it’s great for morale,’ said one high wanking MOD source.
David Cameron is thrilled at Banksy’s appointment. A source told Gfb, “The PM thinks Banksy’s the man. Anyone that can sell a picture of a kid holding a Tesco’s carrier bag for more than a million quid is doing alright in his opinion.”
In a statement, Banksy stencilled a picture of a sausage roll on a doorway in Brixton adorned with the phrase “Sausages have feelings too.’