They keep on rolling in. Here are a few more famous Gingers for you to grapple with.

Postman Pat

Beloved Children’s TV programme in dear old Blighty.

“Early in the morning etc etc”

If there is a better advert for the benefits of organised postage stamp lickage, we at GFB have yet to find one. Now over his drink and drug fuelled years (Hence the baleful nickname Postman Crack) which was so honestly dealt with in his autobiography “Postman Pat - Saddle Sore But Still Deliverin’”, Pat is currently in the studio recording a Prog Rock concept album, using only the sounds of letters popping through letter boxes and the purring of his faithful cat, Thingy. Pat and his third wife Demi Moore are said to be very happy together.

Primal Scream's #1 Fan

Some things you may not know about Pat;

• He is allergic to manila envelopes
• He supports the Boston Red Sox rounders team
• He loves Battenburg cake

The Orangutan

Lovely big monkey hanging out of the trees in the rain forests of Borneo. Rumoured to be able to speak Latin, Greek with a working knowledge of Spanish. The hitherto unreported colony in Nantucket were the backbone of the 19th Century whaling fleet (there is the phrase in Moby Dick  – “There blows a humpback – ginger gibbons to your boats!”)  So succesful were they in this role that the US Army in WW2 experimented with them as inconspicuous weapons carriers in the Pacific Theatre. Sadly Greek speaking apes were a bit of a give away and the Army decided to drop the idea. Shame as it would have made a nice role for Errol Flynn/John Wayne in a B/W war movie, “The Monkey Warriors of Mindanao” which never made the big screen. But it would have been good in our opinion.

Et Tu Brutus?

Some things you didn’t know about Orangutan

• They were a source of inspiration for Oscar Wilde
• Put three in a room together and they will solve any mathematical conundrum you throw at them
• They love the songs of Cliff Richard

Captain James “T” Kirk

“It is acting Jim, but not as we know it” – the famous unuttered line from the seminal TV Series Star Trek, by  Scotty about William Shatner’s ham performances, earning the Shat the soubriquet “Porker Shatner” – and today has revealed itself in an altogether more physical form.

Kirk, the bewigged Red Hair slayer of alien nations and proto model for man made fibres was truly a man ahead of his time by at least three weeks. Who can ever forget his opening line in the episode entitled “Planet Nylon and the Curse of Sweat Rash” when our hero is teleported to Planet Nylon and exclaims ”Bones, get down here immediately me grapes are giving me awful gip”.

Televisual Gold

A man for our times

Gingivitis

Gum disease is a terrible affliction – and boy oh boy the Gingerfightback Orthodontics Trust has its work cut out to find a cure for Rum Gums. Still that won’t stop us. The leading expert in this field Mulrooney Dystemper MD (what a mouthful!) has explored the gnashers of millions of sufferers and has finally published his theses on this tricky subject. Entitled  ”Peridontal Inflammation and Necrotization – A pop up guide” we urge all of you to nip out and buy a copy.

We think he should have a plaque outside his house.

Floss My Children, Floss

Some things you may not know about Gingivitis

• Very common amongst Republican US Presidents
• If you tell someone on a first date you suffer from it – don’t expect to see them again
• Mastication will not make you go blind.