Happy New Year!
I hope you had a good one – I got over excited in the Strained Parrot on New Year’s Eve. £10 a ticket, finger pork pie buffet and carafe of Bulgarian Cabinet per person. Great Value.
Still suffering now though. The rash is back with a vengeance and I reckon the Bulgarian Cabinet has accelerated my annual bout of the Norovirus. Shirl’s had to break out the emergency air freshener as a result of my stomach’s disposition.
Whilst on the pot I read that most people set unrealistic New Year’s resolutions that mean they are bound to fail. Inevitably.
Things like being able to run a marathon, pack up the fags, drink less or do all those jobs round the house that have been in the pipeline for years.
So for this year I have set my limits a little lower to avoid disappointment. Inevitably. I will aim to;
- See my penis for the first time in five years whilst standing without the aid of a mirror.
- Reduce my rash by at least a third
- Fix the wardrobe doors (one squeaks and the hinge on the other is a bit wonky as me and Shirl sought passion in 1997 to overcome an argument about the squeaky one – put me back out as well).
Oh yeah and to be happier.