To connect with previous lives, Agnes eats cheese and brocoli. Separately.
Last Wednesday I was in the Greengrocer’s buying apples, oranges, parsnips and bananas.
As I was handing over my money to Barney the Greengrocer, a very nice man with knock knees, I felt a tad woozy and wobbly. When it had gone, I was on the floor, legs akimbo, surrounded by root vegetables, but with an overwhelming urge to conquer Europe.
The spirit of Napoleon Bonaparte had entered me!
He really is a cheeky little Corsican is Boney! Before I could say “Not tonight Josephine” I boarded the 149 bus and set an eastward course to conquer Austria and Hungary whilst at the same time devising a metricated measuring system and perfecting the kiss curl.
I think i was accompanied by my Imperial Guard – all fine brocaded men sporting heavy calves and brandy breath.
As I hummed the fine Abba tune “Waterloo”, (little was I to know!) my epic journey of conquest was cut short when the bus broke down outside the Duke of Wellington in Shoreditch High Street. Ironic really.
I had to walk home but finally understood the wonders of the metric system.
No longer will I be enslaved by the ounce!
You may think I am a fantasist who eats cheese and broccoli long into the night……….I would beg to differ.