Gotta Get Me Some Penguin Lovin’!
Dear Aunty Bill
I recently became a Father for the first time. Is it normal for your first born to be a penguin?
Des Moines, Boing Boing, Idaho, USA
Aunty Bill Replies;
One of the side effects of global warming is the migration of animals from their natural habitats leading to situations exactly like yours. Recent cases have included a women from Sale who gave birth to a whale, a young lass from Ware who gave birth to a bear and a lady in red who gave birth to a bed (not really, I made the last one up).
You’ll be asking yourself; how did my wife meet a penguin?
It is likely that in its long migration from colder climes, little Pingu got lost, swam up your soil stack and bit your wife on the bottom as she was performing her daily ablutions.
This is how Penguins procreate and it is likely that he mistook your wife’s rear end for a mate.
Penguins make a great addition to any family. Their staple diet is sardines on toast so they are cheap and easy to feed. Just make sure that the bath water is not too hot when you put him to bed.
Don’t blame your wife and accept your new addition as one of your own. Bottle feed rather than breast.