I am Barry Belcher. I am a Milkman. I am Psychic. I have been predicting predictions, with various degrees of accuracy for a number of years now.
I am Up with the Lark, delivering milk in my hometown of Devizes. I also deliver eggs, orange juice, potatoes, bread (wholemeal mostly but the occasional white sliced) and yoghurt.
So, without further ado…….Milk Bottle of Mystery…….what does the future foretell?
1. The Queen will be sporting sideburns by November.
2. Something to do with thighs will occur on October 17.
3. Nervous people will no longer be from September 25.
4. Prince Harry will get his todger out. Again.
Will these prove accurate readers? Only time will tell………
Now it is time for messages from “THE OTHER SIDE” -
Pete in Ellesmere Port,
Marie says that you will find the nail clipper under the sofa.
Dieter in Munich
Wolfgang wants you to know that the mayonnaise is past its sell by date
Noel in Auckland
Peter says the potatoes are boiling over.
Pablo in Madrid
Gloria says having a verucca isn’t the end of the world. Brad Pitt is plagued with them!
IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO MAY BENEFIT FROM HEARING THESE MESSAGES PLEASE PASS THEM ON….
Well folks, the Milk Bottle of Mystery is being returned to the Crate of Destiny.
Until next time……….
I’m not sure which I’m looking forward to more—the thing to do with thighs on October 17th, or Harry getting his todger out again. I think it’s the latter.
You can guarantee the latter!
I wonder if Harry will be photographed rubbing his todger against someones thighs on the 17th.
If so, I predict the Sun will give a big bonus to Barry!
In the “National interest” apparently.
I am a nervous person and your prediction that “Nervous people will no longer be from September 25″ is making me nervous – will I no longer be nervous, or will I simply cease to be? I’ve bitten through all my nails, willl have to open a bag of screws next.
Calm down – Barry has never had a prediction come true yet (apart from Prince Harry).
Barry, the sparrows have pecked through the lid of my gold top milk? Does this mean I might win the lottery?
Yes – most definitely
I always predict I will need something alcoholic after reading one of your posts and I’m almost always right.
I’ll drink to that!