Ginger Sooty, GLOVE PUPPET OF DREAMS provides a daily round-up of events at the London 2012 Olympics that are, quite simply London 2012.
Well Folks - What A Day!
The 100 metres was won by Usain Bolt ans as forecast by Goingerfightback a couple of weeks ago he did it with a chicken on his head!
But the highlight was Asafa Powell’s goatee – what on earth was he thinking about?
Italy beat Team GB in the foil. We hope to gain revenge in the cling film.
In sailing Sweden won the Men’s Star Class (we don’t know what it means either – why can’t they say big boat, little boat, pedillo?).
Congratulations to Andy Murray for singing the national anthem after he won the Gold in the tennis. He has set Scottish independence back 15 years!
A couple of sports to look out for.
1. Octogenarian Bollock Drop and Roll - You will be aghast at the stretchy tessies elderly gentlemen possess. The record bollock roll of 23 feet will be under threat.
Favourite is 104 year old Kano Sackorollo from Japan, whose danglers recently played a crucial role in helping to evacuate the plane carrying him to London after an emergency occurred on board. The escape shutes failed to activate and Kano rolled out his scrotum to allow passengers to slide to safety.
Expect (non) stiff competition from Spain’s Manuel Cardosa who hires his knackers out as a marquee!
2. Bouncing Bards 1500 metres
Athletics and Poetry combine to produce a remarkable spectacle. Poets hop around the track and recite poems written by local halfwits. Three and a half laps of the track and every poem will rhyme!
Can they take it? Will their berets stay on? Will they try to stroke Asafa’s goatee?
Favourite for the gold is Guatemala’s champion nose poet Jorge Belch who secured the world crown from Germany’s Gritt Beemer in controversial circumstances in Berlin this year.
Enjoy The Games!