Oils well the ends well
Dear Oily,
I have had 48 facelifts in the last 4 years. However, the last time I flew long distance the skin on my face melted into my Martini. I was rather shaken by it whilst my husband was a little stirred.
How do I stop this happening the next time?
Martha, Vineyard
Oily Replies
Martha,
Did you fly Aer Fungus by chance? This happened to me recently.
It is an allergic reaction to the eye wateringly malodorous scents their Trolley Dollies wear. Luckily for me my actual skin didn’t melt off, just the layers of oil that I produce, which fortunately acted as a protective buffer.
A sort of condom for the face, if you will.
At first the airline were extremely annoyed at the gloopy residue I left behind and were going to sue me.
That was before they realised that my natural unguents could fuel cars. And make a nifty salad dressing.
Now we are in partnership making money hand over fist. I fly first class with them for free (but don’t touch their salads). Everyone is happy!
Well except you sadly. But as the Loaf himself once warbled “Two Outta Three Ain’t Bad!”
Oily
Thanks, Oily, I always wondered if there was a way to profit from excess oiliness. Now the path is, well, not clear but at least it is shiny.
Shiny and happy! – I know a song about that Sandy – all together now 2,3,4…..
I have to admit that I’m quite surprised Oily had not fully researched the effects of all his…unguents before the Aer Fungus incident.
After all, isn’t “salad” quite popular in his other endeavours?
He is in LA at the moment doing a spot of research, then Chicago, New York and Belfast. That boy gets around. Keep an eye out for a trail of oily residue on a pavement near you – you may meet him!
At least until you slip in it…
Red.
This post will haunt me on multiple levels for years to come, thanksalot.
Glad to oblige Brian – nice to hear from you!
I like the Trolley dolly ….. funny
According to Oily the odour (not very delicately put, but you get my drift) was not…..enjoy the game!
I think I’m with Brian…fungus, salad and malodorous scents should not all be in the same room together. Debra
Agreed but we report nothng but the truth here on Gfb! Debra
Great reference to Bond …. James Bond.
Another brilliant installment!
Cheers – glad you enjoyed it!